Sunday, September 11, 2005

An (Until Now) Unexamined Life

In an attempt to find even more unproductive things to do with my time, I have decided to follow in the footsteps of so many in my generation. I am turning to the internet in an attempt to find an audience for my own brilliance.

At the same time, I have considered two initial questions that so few in my generation do. Namely, "who on earth would want to be my audience?" and "exactly why do I need an audience?"

Regarding the first question, I too am intrigued by the prospect that there are actual readers who would want to further perpetuate the waste of time that is this blog. Who these people are, I have no idea. My precursory perusal of the blogosphere has convinced me though that these people are out there. My precursory perusal has also convinced me that these people are much hipper and more urban than I. That aside, I believe that my marginal wit and insight into life in this fair city will be an attractive draw, and it is simply a matter of time before my audience materializes. I am completely aware that my attitude may be inspired by the fact that, like so many others raised in the "everyone's good at something" period of American education, I may have a misplaced confidence in my own abilities. That is a topic for another time though, so why rain on the parade that is this inaugural entry?

In considering the second question of why I even need a proverbial crowd on which to stand before on my proverbial soap box, I have come to an easy answer. I would like to become rich doing as little work as possible. Just like the would-be actors who eat poisonous maggots on national television in the hopes that it will lead to a sitcom pilot, I aspire to greatness. Having been born only semi-attractive and with no vocal talent whatsoever, I have decided that the life of a writer/columnist is my easy street. My plan is that somewhere in this mythical universe of readers is an agent/editor (likely hipper and more urban than I) who will happen upon my blog and be blown away by the marginal wit and insight. Said agent/editor will then give me a very lucrative offer to share my untapped talent with the masses. One may wonder why the masses would feel the need to give me a lucrative offer when this blog currently allows them to imbibe of my untapped talent for free, but as I said before, why raise these questions that will only bring "cold pricklies" to this quintessentially "warm fuzzy" moment.

That said, I now embark on what is sure to be a rewarding enterprise! My current plan is to share my musings on the trials and tribulations of life as a twenty-something in this city. All the while sharing as little personal information as possible with a colloquial "girl next door" tone that attempts to inspire a meaningful sense of intimacy with the reader. Good times will be had by all.

Ms. J