Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Little to No Clothing

As Halloween fast approaches, I am struck with the perenial problem of what to wear. Or, as I frequently find to be the case in New York, what not to wear. I am 100% supportive of people asserting their identities, and I also believe strongly that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. All of that said though, I think it probably wouldn't hurt for people to wear a little more clothing.

Just from a practical standpoint, clothing is a good thing. Especially on a chilly fall evening like this Halloween promises to be, one may want to keep all their especially sensitive parts under wraps. It would also frankly help the prudish types like myself feel a little less awkward. There's nothing weirder than getting bumped in a bar by a free breast. What do you say? "Excuse me, your nipple dunked into my beer?"

Somewhere along the line, someone decided that pasties counted as clothing. This is just not true. My general rule of thumb is that if you can see the underside of a boob, it's out there. If you want it out there, so be it. I just want to make sure you haven't misplaced it.

One of my male friends this year decided he would take the typical Halloween cross-dressing theme one step further. Instead of dressing like a woman, he's going to dress like women dress on Halloween. He says he's going to be a "sexy leopard." There's apparently spandex and feathers involved. This will likely be horribly frightening. I guess it's appropriate though. What would Halloween be without something to strike fear into the hearts of innocent bystanders?

Ms. J


Anonymous Mark said...

Maybe the better costume would be a sexy leper . . . well, in any event, it's food for thought. :)

8:40 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm sick of sexy devils, French maids, nurses, etc. If you're going to play that card for Halloween, go all in.

5:25 AM  
Blogger Berry said...

I was just skimming an article about this very topic on the Village Voice.com. Whatever you choose, make sure you are warm...don't catch a cold. I typically stay in on Halloween...I get creeped out by some of the costumes I see people wearing. Even the bodegas tend to close up early on the 31st.

7:32 AM  
Anonymous drac said...

I have to disagree. As a Transylvanian count, the flesh of nubile women is particularly attractive to me. As I said to my skimpily clad Halloween date last year: "Fangs for the mammaries."

9:32 AM  
Anonymous TheSuze said...

I don't know--Mark dressed as a sexy leopard might end up feeling like a sexy leper. Oh wait! We'll all be at his place already!

Maybe I'll just give up the charade and call my costume sexy desperate woman this year, instead of pretending I'm dressed up as a nun in fishnets.

7:22 AM  

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