Monday, October 17, 2005

Truly Disturbing

Like the Sistine Chapel, this next post in my innaugural blog has been a while in the making. I've made a decision to post more frequently, but to have each post be shorter. I've also decided to make the posts more commentary oriented, as opposed to narrative. Finally, I've decided to join the technological age and include pictures whenever possible. Just because, let's be honest, everyone appreciates pretty pictures.

What better to celebrate this change in format than a toothpaste-poop reference! In a stroke of genius that will likely soon be regretted, Charmin has introduced baby wipes for adults. One of the good folks at Charmin apparently woke up and said to themselves "what the world really needs is a flushable, premoistened, adult wipe."

And to launch off this groundbreaking product, Charmin has released a truly disturbing commercial. Following some animation of a cuddly bear taking a dump behind a tree, there's a zoom in on a hand with toothpaste inexplicably smeared on it. The hand then tries to wipe said toothpaste off with a piece of regular ol' toilet paper. The toothpaste just sort of smears. The hand then reaches for a new Charmin Fresh Mate! Who woulda thunk it, the tooth paste smear is wiped totally off! Yay! For those (stupid people) who don't see it on their own, I'll elaborate as to why this commercial is just shockingly vile. The toothpaste is a stand in for POOP! Ewww!!! I don't know what's more disgusting, the fact that they DEMONSTRATE for us why a wet wipe would be more useful in those solitary moments, or the fact that they have now forced us to associate a daily use oral hygiene product with shit. Yummy.

Oh well, at least we still have Potty Palooza.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

50% off

2:55 PM  
Anonymous Mark said...


Aren't you forgetting those of us who enjoy the always rewarding oral-to-anal connection? Just saying . . .

8:15 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

So is the point that the product will get the shit off your fingers after inadvertent digital anal contact (presumably a result of using that inferior one ply)? This is just another commercial proving that I'm different. My turd is brown, not white; just as my wife tends not to menstruate blue water. We must be a true couple of freaks.

8:55 AM  

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