Thursday, November 10, 2005

The first rule of . . .

This past weekend I went to visit the lovely Puritan city of Boston, Massachusetts. Doing what many Boston visitors do, I then proceeded to get into a street fight in the middle of Chinatown. Now before you start saying to yourself, “That Mr. J is nothing but a hooligan, that’s the last time I ever visit this blog!” hear me out.

On Saturday I went with some friends to a club and after the club shut down we decided to get something to eat. Being Boston, everything was closed by this point except for Chinatown, so off we went to get some dumplings and scallion pancakes. Shortly after arriving, I decided to call it an early night and grab a cab home by myself. I literally took about 20 steps away and was standing in front of a nice shabu-shabu restaurant when 5 guys walked by me. The last one threw his shoulder at me and then started cussing me out. This is the point that Ms. J feels I should’ve swallowed my pride and just walked on, but for whatever reason I turned around. As I turned to face him, he shoved me hard and continued his curse filled tirade.

As I stood there trying to figure out exactly what was going on (said events not being a usual evening activity) he approached me again, but this time swung at me. Not knowing what plan of action to take, I was inspired by a brief flashback to my high school wrestling days and proceeded to tackle him. We then both started punching wildly at each other in the middle of the street. His friends, being the ever alert group, finally realized something was amiss and swarmed back at us. It was at this point that things really took a bizarre turn.

While one second I was alone thinking I’m going to get the crap kicked out of me, the very next second a whole makeshift posse comprised of random passersby appeared behind me. Hoping that cooler heads would now prevail and I could avoid the embarrassment of having to call Ms. J at 3 in the morning to bail me out of jail, I was shocked when someone yelled, “One on one! Let the two of them work it out!” I briefly thought of pointing out the fact that I had only just met this guy and had absolutely zero issues to work out with him, but his friends apparently had watched West Side Story one too many times and pushed their buddy back into the fray (keep in mind that the guy by this point had a bloody nose and his face was pretty messed up, but I guess such details can’t be bothered with when there’s things to be worked out).

Anyways, we scuffled around for a bit until it finally occurred to his friends that since we were fighting in the middle of Chinatown, we could easily get arrested (as I said, they were an alert bunch). They proceeded to pull their buddy away with the consoling words of, “C’mon, you lost. Let’s just go.” They then faced me and told me that, “It’s cool, it’s cool.” While I stood there thinking that the last time I thought I was cool I didn’t have a random guy’s blood on my shirt, my posse congratulated me on my win, handed me a cigarette, and then left. And thus the night concluded with me once again walking alone in Chinatown looking for a cab, one ripped shirt down, one cigarette up, but overall none the worse for wear and tear.

Many friends have since given me their take on the night. I’ve had lots of people tell me how lucky I was things ended ok and lots of girls tell me, “While I don’t approve of violence, I’m glad you won.” I’ve also discussed with everyone the importance of always going out with a posse (“Leave the cards at home, ‘Posse- the new Mastercard!’”) While opinions have varied on how unusual the night was, the one thing that still surprises me is how eager most guys are to turn a random street fight into entertainment. Perhaps Brad Pitt was onto something . . .

Mr. J

4 Comments:

Anonymous Mark said...

Of course, the cigarette was necessary to unwind after the fight. Smooth, sweet tobacco--mmmm.

8:20 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

8:21 AM  
Blogger J & J said...

To Anonymous who left the body bag comment, I accidentally deleted it while navigating the administrative settings. I know, I'm an idiot. If anyone knows how to undelete a comment, let us know. We're still trying to get a handle on this "blogging" thing.

Sorry,

Ms. J

8:54 AM  
Blogger Berry said...

You can't undelete but sometimes you can go back using the back button in the browser and copy/paste if it is still in the cache. Blogger is notorious for eating posts too so beware. :-(

7:05 PM  

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