Thursday, January 19, 2006

Hover Hazard

I have a peeve. It’s not just a pet peeve, it’s a real peeve. The kind of peeve that borders from peeved to pissed. Ironically, this peeve of mine is actually kind of pissy, in the most literal sense.

I hate it when people piss on the seat in a public restroom. I don’t know what it is, or why people think they can do it, but it’s just disgusting. Being a woman, I can only speak to the situation in women’s rooms.

I know how it starts. Some women hate germs. Some women believe that sitting on public toilet seats will impart germs to their tushies. Some women may be right about this. This fear of germs results in some women doing the “hover.” C’mon, admit it, you know what I’m talking about. The hover is the bathroom position reserved for the most germy of situations. It’s what happens when the person using the toilet decides to hover their ass just above the seat. My theory is that the vast majority of seat pissers are actually hoverers. There’s really no other explanation.

Which is why, I would like to make a public service announcement to the hoverers. For the good of humanity, clean up for yourselves. You might think, “I don’t use the seat anyway, so who cares if I pee a little on it?!” In short, I care. I care a lot.

It’s a dirty world we live in, why make it dirtier? Don’t let your fear of germs cause you to piss all over things for the rest of us. Thank you.

Ms. J


Anonymous peelover said...

More pee posts please.

6:12 AM  

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